boo moo

Last night I was watching an episode of that crazy Food Network show "Will Work For Food" and the host, Adam, turned into a 19th century cook for a day. One of his tasks was to milk the cows and, although not strictly relegated to an 1830's to do list, it's something I've never experienced before. They went on to skim the heavy cream from the milk and - catch this - throw the skimmed milk into the pig's trough. Apparently milk was treated more as a means to a food-related end, and they'd really only use it for the cream and then to make butter. Skim milk wasn't drunk as a beverage and perhaps wasn't even fit for human consumption. Huh.

Like most kids, I grew up on 2% milk. As I got into high school, we started veering towards 1% but my mom couldn't get her head around skim. My girlfriends drank it and peer pressure be damned, 20 years later I'm still drinking skim milk. When I went through my first naturopathic detox (as opposed to court-ordered, that is), cutting out dairy was imperative. I started really enjoying almond milk. I never liked soy milk so having a dairy alternative that I could actually stomach on my corn flakes was a new idea for me. (Note: I have yet to get excited about an ice cold glass of plain almond milk, however.) Since I leanred too much years ago about hormones and antibiotics given to dairy cows, I decided that if I am going to drink milk, I'm going to suck up the $5.39 a gallon and buy organic. Two plus years later, I'm still skipping back and forth between my almond milk and organic skim cow's milk. Which, I think, is where the trouble began.

A handful of times now, I've picked up ultrapasteurized organic milk. I understand the concept: because there isn't so much "stuff" in the milk, they need to take a few extra steps to ensure they don't go around getting their customers sick. Talk about bad PR. But you know how cheese in Europe tastes so much better than cheese here? Other than the accompanying wine and the amazing views? Well, it's because they use unpasteurized milk to start. Heating the be-jeezus out of the milk, while customer-friendly and germ-unfriendly, really takes the heart out of the end product. And this from a girl who only knows pasteurized milk! But it simply doesn't taste very good when it's been cooked til within an inch of its life. And the organic regularly pasteurized keeps going bad in my fridge after about 4 days.

So what's a girl to do? If I buy organic pasteurized, it goes bad faster than I can consume it. Waste of money. If I buy conventional, I'm worried about what I'm ingesting. I might as well go back to almonds; I know what's in those. And if I buy organic ultrapasteurized, it simply tastes terrible. The national brands aren't great; the local brands don't seem to be much better. But milk it good for you! It has lots of great stuff in it! I feel trapped.

"Talk about being a long way from our food," the budding locavore in me sighs deeply. And one can only wonder what milk tasted like back before we started doing all of these crazy things to it. I'm taking this down to the farmer's market and asking some questions. Because I know there must be a better solution that doesn't require me giving up my nutrition, good taste and money...because all of those things are incredibly valuable to me. Maybe there's just some sweet local cow that roams the meadowside, munching on grass, that can help me understand what milk is even supposed to taste like these days. And maybe some smart producer will realize that some people live alone and need a smaller-than-half-gallon option for organic milk. In the meantime, I'll give up the hot cocoas and tall glasses of moo juice with a cookie. I can wait.