I’ve been trying to figure out how to “restart” myself after the events of the past 3 weeks. There’s an odd reality I’m facing. And without being overly dramatic, I think I can say with all certainty that this event, accident, loss, trauma has literally changed everything.
I have spent much of the past 2-3 years resetting my concept of what my life is all about. What is meaningful and important. What is relevant and valuable. And who I really am in this world. In a weird way, I’m proud of myself for that. Because my old way of living and loving wasn’t working so well. I was unhappy at work and stumbling along with my personal relationships. I knew I was off track, but I didn’t yet know how to find my path. These past years have really allowed me to grow into who I am and figure out how I want to show up to the world. But more intimately, I’ve also grasped the importance of those I love, and I’ve carved out a co-existence that felt right. In the wake of tragedy, I can say that I’m happy with where I’m headed. Because had all of this happened even 3 years ago, I believe I might have reflected on myself with words like lost, unfulfilled, disappointed, without purpose.
Three weeks ago, a lightening bolt created a crack in our lives. A fissure. A permanent void. And while this loss is intensely personal to some, I’m starting to see this as more than just people who left us too soon. It’s about the enormity of life and the ridiculously simple power of love. It’s about living a life of purpose, and one without regret. It’s about remembering that we have only this day to live well, love deeply and act accordingly. With life growing more complex by the day, we’re reminded of the basics. This is a very good reminder, hidden in a cloud of literal heartbreak.
I can’t begin to capture all that I have learned in the past 3 weeks. But I can try to articulate a few of the important lessons that have jumped out at me. Let’s face it, writing helps me process. For me, these lessons are around four key things: faith, humanity, purpose, impact.
Faith
I’m speaking here of both the practical and theological versions of the word faith. For me, these became very intertwined with recent events. I have often thought about and used the word faith when it comes to explaining one’s ability to make ridiculous leaps (transitioning from employee to small business owner in a troubled economy to, oh, just grab one off the top of my head) or to just trust in the small decisions we make every day. Faith helps us trust ourselves and others. It’s helps us rely on instinct and experience. It drives us to accept the unseen & believed, along with the seen & proven - in business, in love, in friendship, in everything.
My own spiritual faith is a convoluted thing. But it’s uniquely mine and I accept it. And more than ever, I’m interested in learning more. Exploring a few unturned stones. Understanding the complexities in a new way. I don’t always understand your way of accepting a higher power into your life, but I am inspired by it. I’m grooving with it. Be it God, Allah, Buddha or whomsoever you choose, there are so many comforting similarities between religions. But I’ve come to realize that - for me - religion itself isn’t really the point. It’s more about connecting to a force greater than me and attempting to understand the purpose and extent of my very existence. Ok, that’s a bit much, I realize. So take it as the mental wanderings of a woman with a number of questions. A ready student.
Humanity
Human beings are amazing things. Biologically, soulfully, theoretically and practically amazing. We don’t experience enough the love that is possible between and among people, do we? The reminder has been bittersweet, of course, but I have never been more grateful to experience the power of humans to genuinely care for one another. It’s amazing to think that as my heart is breaking, it is also so full of warmth and energy because of how others have shown up - for me, for my friend, for those lost, and for each other. Again, sometimes this is intensely personal - about my heart and my experience. But it’s also about the collective - our hearts, our experiences. We each have the ability to simply be human, to connect and to love.
Purpose
As a business consultant, I have a keen focus on strategic planning. I intentionally work with a segment of business that oftentimes struggles with that higher-level visioning, namely entrepreneurs. But the one thing that (I believe) successful businesses of all sizes have in common is a specific, focused, stated purpose for being. It’s the start of your mission, vision, values and priorities. It’s the guiding principle for how you go about your business day to day. I resonate so strongly with this that I’m certain I drive people crazy sometimes. But if you’re going into business just to make money, you’re probably going to struggle at some point in your evolution.
As people, we’re not so different. But how many people do you know have a stated purpose for their lives? Ok, maybe you just don’t know they have it but, really, you’d probably pick up on it, right? It would permeate their behaviors, interactions, and how they go about their business from day to day. You would probably sense it in the air when they’re around.
My friend Luke lived a life of purpose - both personally and professionally. And I now know how deeply that purpose impacted everything and every single person around him. I’m inspired by this example. My purpose is just there - on the tip of my tongue. But feeling more apparent by the day.
Impact
What we do impacts others. That’s simple enough. So how do you want your interactions and your very existence on this earth to matter to others? I’ve thought a lot about this in the past few years and I think it’s such a key driver for me. I’ve made some uncomfortable decisions because I knew that saying yes would have led me in the wrong direction. The impact I want to have on others, on life, on this world is bigger than that.
So maybe this event hasn’t changed everything, after all. Despite the still-inconceivable loss, I am fortified by this experience. I am placing a higher value on these above items; I think I knew them before, but now I truly know. I believe in my soul, my cells, my brain, my fingertips. Every part of me believes. And with that, I suppose, everything changes.
I have spent much of the past 2-3 years resetting my concept of what my life is all about. What is meaningful and important. What is relevant and valuable. And who I really am in this world. In a weird way, I’m proud of myself for that. Because my old way of living and loving wasn’t working so well. I was unhappy at work and stumbling along with my personal relationships. I knew I was off track, but I didn’t yet know how to find my path. These past years have really allowed me to grow into who I am and figure out how I want to show up to the world. But more intimately, I’ve also grasped the importance of those I love, and I’ve carved out a co-existence that felt right. In the wake of tragedy, I can say that I’m happy with where I’m headed. Because had all of this happened even 3 years ago, I believe I might have reflected on myself with words like lost, unfulfilled, disappointed, without purpose.
Three weeks ago, a lightening bolt created a crack in our lives. A fissure. A permanent void. And while this loss is intensely personal to some, I’m starting to see this as more than just people who left us too soon. It’s about the enormity of life and the ridiculously simple power of love. It’s about living a life of purpose, and one without regret. It’s about remembering that we have only this day to live well, love deeply and act accordingly. With life growing more complex by the day, we’re reminded of the basics. This is a very good reminder, hidden in a cloud of literal heartbreak.
I can’t begin to capture all that I have learned in the past 3 weeks. But I can try to articulate a few of the important lessons that have jumped out at me. Let’s face it, writing helps me process. For me, these lessons are around four key things: faith, humanity, purpose, impact.
Faith
I’m speaking here of both the practical and theological versions of the word faith. For me, these became very intertwined with recent events. I have often thought about and used the word faith when it comes to explaining one’s ability to make ridiculous leaps (transitioning from employee to small business owner in a troubled economy to, oh, just grab one off the top of my head) or to just trust in the small decisions we make every day. Faith helps us trust ourselves and others. It’s helps us rely on instinct and experience. It drives us to accept the unseen & believed, along with the seen & proven - in business, in love, in friendship, in everything.
My own spiritual faith is a convoluted thing. But it’s uniquely mine and I accept it. And more than ever, I’m interested in learning more. Exploring a few unturned stones. Understanding the complexities in a new way. I don’t always understand your way of accepting a higher power into your life, but I am inspired by it. I’m grooving with it. Be it God, Allah, Buddha or whomsoever you choose, there are so many comforting similarities between religions. But I’ve come to realize that - for me - religion itself isn’t really the point. It’s more about connecting to a force greater than me and attempting to understand the purpose and extent of my very existence. Ok, that’s a bit much, I realize. So take it as the mental wanderings of a woman with a number of questions. A ready student.
Humanity
Human beings are amazing things. Biologically, soulfully, theoretically and practically amazing. We don’t experience enough the love that is possible between and among people, do we? The reminder has been bittersweet, of course, but I have never been more grateful to experience the power of humans to genuinely care for one another. It’s amazing to think that as my heart is breaking, it is also so full of warmth and energy because of how others have shown up - for me, for my friend, for those lost, and for each other. Again, sometimes this is intensely personal - about my heart and my experience. But it’s also about the collective - our hearts, our experiences. We each have the ability to simply be human, to connect and to love.
Purpose
As a business consultant, I have a keen focus on strategic planning. I intentionally work with a segment of business that oftentimes struggles with that higher-level visioning, namely entrepreneurs. But the one thing that (I believe) successful businesses of all sizes have in common is a specific, focused, stated purpose for being. It’s the start of your mission, vision, values and priorities. It’s the guiding principle for how you go about your business day to day. I resonate so strongly with this that I’m certain I drive people crazy sometimes. But if you’re going into business just to make money, you’re probably going to struggle at some point in your evolution.
As people, we’re not so different. But how many people do you know have a stated purpose for their lives? Ok, maybe you just don’t know they have it but, really, you’d probably pick up on it, right? It would permeate their behaviors, interactions, and how they go about their business from day to day. You would probably sense it in the air when they’re around.
My friend Luke lived a life of purpose - both personally and professionally. And I now know how deeply that purpose impacted everything and every single person around him. I’m inspired by this example. My purpose is just there - on the tip of my tongue. But feeling more apparent by the day.
Impact
What we do impacts others. That’s simple enough. So how do you want your interactions and your very existence on this earth to matter to others? I’ve thought a lot about this in the past few years and I think it’s such a key driver for me. I’ve made some uncomfortable decisions because I knew that saying yes would have led me in the wrong direction. The impact I want to have on others, on life, on this world is bigger than that.
So maybe this event hasn’t changed everything, after all. Despite the still-inconceivable loss, I am fortified by this experience. I am placing a higher value on these above items; I think I knew them before, but now I truly know. I believe in my soul, my cells, my brain, my fingertips. Every part of me believes. And with that, I suppose, everything changes.
