getting unstuck

I frequently return to this book when I have those days of unmotivated, indecisive, lethargic blah. And somehow it always seems to make me feel like I can get a grip again. To me, If the Buddha Got Stuck is sort of a digestible and practical take on some basic Buddhist concepts. It's not rife with God or religion or anything that feels heavy or overwhelming, or to the point, something that will make me feel MORE stuck. It's bite-sized chapters that you can just poke through and pick what moves you for the day. There are some journal-y exercises to do, as well. I'm thinking of throwing it on my Kindle just so I don't have to be without it; it's that valuable of a tool for me during this process of transitioning my life. Talk about potentially overwhelming.

Best of all? It has siblings: If the Buddha Dated, which I could definitely use at this point in my life, and If the Buddha Married, which I clearly should have made friends with already. But part of this whole process is learning and not being too hard on one's self, right? Mostly I think this wonderful author, Charlotte Kasl, is joining my list of idols along with Martha Beck.

Today I'm enjoying chapter 50 titled: Seventeen Strategies for Staying on Track. Which could actually be the name of the manual for my life these days. I'll give you the list and just a few of the concepts that are working for me today:

(the bolded portions are directly from If the Buddha Got Stuck by Charlotte Kasl)

1. Do not demand perfection.
2. Have realistic expectations, be flexible, and start with small goals.
3. Develop strategies to make life easier. This is key to success with so many things and she mentions here about eating healthier; buy healthy prepackaged foods like washed salad greens to make the whole good food thing easier on yourself. After my time with WeightWatchers, I absolutely know this to be true. And while you're at it, portion those suckers right when you get home. Nothing like a little bag of potato chips to satisfy a salt/crunch need vs. half a bag to fuel your guilt.
4. Start with whatever is easiest.
5. Get help from a friend or be near other people.
6. Change the setting.
7. Hire someone. This is a wonderful lesson that applies to all facets of life: don't stress about something you need to repair or create or whatever if that something doesn't really fit your passions or your available time. Find someone else to do it. Focus your unique skills and energies on what does move you and let the other experts do their thing. So sensible. And with a new business and a crappy economy out there, this is also giving way to another of my favorite concepts, bartering. Get creative while you move forward!
8. Give yourself rewards.
9. Readjust your goals.
10. Do something for a given period every day. I'm taking this one to heart this week; I've been craving schedule and structure so I figured out how much of my time should be dedicated to writing/researching, networking, finding new clients, taking care of myself, etc and then I'm starting to give them some borders in my calendar. I'm excited about this one.
11. Stay focused on the big picture.
12. Make appointments on your calendar. Whoa. See #10. Fantastic alignment, no?
13. Hang out with your resistance.
14. Give yourself a whack. Kasl describes this as tantamount to "just say no" or giving yourself a little lecture about not going there anymore...wherever there is that keeps you stuck.
15. Take one extra step. This is so critical to finding your way forward, because we all come with these notions of who we are and what we're comfortable doing. Who came up with these ideas anyway? In the end, we're setting (or accepting) our own boundaries, sometimes unintentionally. So, if they're in our control anyway, why not just push through them and set new ones?
16. Do it anyhow - anxiety and all.
17. Lighten up. I'm going to hope Kasl forgives me but I think this is a really important one to leave you with:

"Remember, in the big picture it all matters - but it's not serious. Whether you keep moving down the track, sit by the roadside, or even have your feet stuck in the mud, it is just where you are at this moment - nothing is better or worse - it's all part of the big cosmic dance, the One Energy. We take the steps to lower stress and bring ease to our lives so we can have more clarity of mind and peacefulness of body. Make your best effort, and watch the unfolding drama.

Imagine flying up in the sky and looking down at homes, hospitals, prisons, office buildings, bars, and movie theaters and watch the unfolding dramas of so many lives, very similar to yours. Not on the surface, perhaps, but at the heart everyone wants to be free of suffering, be cared for, know happiness, and find some form of peace. Above all, be kind and merciful with yourself."