04 June 2009

strategic life planning? lifestyle blueprint? personal branding? ...shoot me now?

I'm stumbling around in verbiage these days. Up to my knees and tripping through all of this overused linguistic blah-blah-blah. So called trendy terminology that only seems to make people feel more out of the loop than in it. And I'm finding myself paralyzed instead of inspired. My personal triggers these days are words like "life coach," "personal branding," "hurried woman syndrome," and when I see them I am overcome by the urge to crawl into my bathtub with a box of wine and the 5th volume of Harry Potter, never to emerge again.

I'm coming around to one of those big "life defining statements," I believe. I'm trying to unearth my true self, give her room to really breathe and grow, and challenge her to become more than she ever thought possible. Or maybe, I'm trying to get me out of her way so that she can be as big and forceful as she's always known she could be. Waaaay down deep. But part of me being in my way is that I need those damned words and concepts to help outline what it is that I want to make my living at.

As I've said before, I'm more of a lifestyle person vs. a work/life balance seeker. Instead of trying to measure myself by how many hours per week I work and how much time I allow for myself and for my family & friends (and then become increasingly bitter and overwhelmed by the whole equation), I'm approaching things from a slightly different perspective these days. I don't want work/life balance, particularly not in that order! In fact, I think it's a truly unattainable concept which serves mostly to frustrate and deaden our sense of true fulfillment. Who came up with this ideal anyway? It's based (in my opinion) in a very dangerous weighing of work on one side of the scale with everything personal on the other. Yes, we have to earn a living. And yes, we have to care for the people, spaces, pets, plants, and communities to whom we are responsible. But who gets to define what "balance" looks like?

It would be easy to dismiss my perspective. Sure, I've done the 70 and 80 hour work weeks, but I've never done them with kids at home, more than one mortgage or a life-threatening illness. But I did hop on the habitrail and wore the corporate dunce cap so snugly around my head that I destroyed my marriage instead of growing it. I made a lot of money, I made a lot of truly exceptional friends. I've been hired and fired and laid off. I dabbled in small businesses and large corporations. I don't mind saying that I've been forged by fire and I know what it's like out there - both by the unique and personal experiences of those dear to me, but also by the trial and error that is my life. I'm not saying I have all of the answers because if I did, I'd have picked the winning Powerball numbers long ago and punched out of this rat race. But I have my battle scars too. I like them. I earned them.

My argument is that the very acceptable pressures in our Americanized lives - personal ambition, family pressures to have this career, the simple choice of our college majors - all serve to define our boundaries instead of open our eyes. My approach these days is to remove all of these barriers - perceived, self-imposed, guilt-ridden - and let our creative selves out to be innovative and thoughtful and free! But we sometimes need the words to help us clarify and tell our stories. And then we get into trouble by trying to weigh one of those words or phrases against another. How much does "mommy" weigh? What about "Vice President?" Or how about simpler things like friend, sister, daughter, mentor, inspiration, energizer - because we need to be these things too sometimes. And we likely won't be getting paid for it.

But all of these words, they're killing me. So what do you call this process? Is it blueprinting your life? Charting a course? Creating a strategic life plan (much as I would create a strategic business or marketing plan)? And if I help someone else do it, what does that make me? If I tread near the "life coach" waters, am I only credible if I have a certification from some trade organization in order to call myself coach? I don't want to be a therapist; there are too many good ones out there that do amazing work. What on earth do I call myself?

I want to be a map maker, I guess. I want to help you start to put some focus on your journey, identify a few potential destinations, brainstorm a couple of possible routes, list the necessary equipment to navigate, and pick out some worthy travel partners, and provide a backstop upon which you can bounce crazy sightseeing adventures.

That's why my business is called Segnavia Creative; in Italian segna means sign, segnare means to mark or indicate. Via means road. "Finding your way forward" is my mission, both for individuals and the businesses I serve. Now, if I can just figure out what to call this voodoo that I want to doo...

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