wheee! i can't help you!

"I can't help you"...one of the most freeing statements in the English language! And yet, one of the hardest to say.

I've realized lately that part of the reason I encourage entrepreneurs (and other individuals) to go through the personal branding discovery process is because I know the inherent value that comes along with it. I know it intimately because I tried to operate outside of my true, authentic self for many years and wound up a frustrated, directionless character filled with self-doubt. I was on a path alright, but it simply wasn't mine.

For me, dealing honestly with my true passions, strengths and what I have to offer to the world meant that I had to also honestly deal with what/who I am not. This took time - many hours of reading, therapy and plain ol' living my life. I didn't wake up one day with a fully formed idea of what it meant to be me. And quite frankly, I'm guessing this evolution will continue. I hope it will.

Hello, my name is Tracy and I'm a fixer. I fix broken relationships, workstreams and attitudes! I solve problems! I find solutions! I'm innovative, kind and engaging! I'm tenacious and strong! All of these traits that make me an ideal consultant - someone that people regularly seek out for advice and direction - also made me fundamentally unable to say no. When presented with a challenge, I ran into it as if I were saving it from a house fire. In my pre-consulting professional life, I wasn't sure how it happened but I was the one that leadership turned to when there was a problem. When someone needed to put a finger in the dam, or needed to create a business structure where there was none. No mountain was too high! And I never said no. I developed myself into a frenetic, multi-tasking utility player. Saying yes and plowing headlong into a challenge became my calling card: how I valued myself and how I identified myself. Without a nightmarish business challenge on my hands, who was I?

Sure, we could spend quite a bit of time reviewing my childhood and seeing where much of this started but the fact was, I never truly saw the big picture until massive change happened. Jobs disappeared. The economy tanked. Relationships failed. Once all those titles and paygrades and roles evaporated, I had to address who I really was. Who I really AM.

And then? What a relief. I finally realized I didn't need to - or want to - solve every problem all the time. By focusing on who I am and what I really value, I quickly saw how I could bring the best me to my clients, my relationships, my world. It isn't by tackling every insurmountable issue out there. It's about defining the sandbox I play in and realizing when others need help I can't provide. This is what I do. This is what I don't do. It's simplicity is maddening. I help my clients see that drawing a few boundaries around who they are and what they do doesn't mean stifling innovation or being less open to opportunities. In fact, it gives them even more room to grow. And somewhere in that process, I taught myself the lesson as well.

Now I really do feel freer. I am more focused on the areas of my practice where I really excel. And I help my clients call on someone else when I have to say, "I can't help you." It's scary because I'm leaving business on the table. But in the end, I think it's better for everyone involved. We're all taking responsibility for who we are and acknowledging when we need assistance that's outside of our normal comfort zone. The interaction becomes richer and deeper. And I know that I've done my very best. Which, I suppose, is what we all truly crave.

So just know...if I say "I can't help you," it's out of respect. For both of us. I want your success, maybe even more than my own. And I will doggedly help you achieve it. And because of that, sometimes I just may have to say no. Isn't that fantastic?