the trouble with self-marketing

It seems that regardless of why I connect with a client, our conversations all start in the same place: who are you, what do you stand for, what makes you unique, how do you describe yourself and how do others describe you? If you've hired me, it's likely because you want help marketing yourself or your business. And when you hire me, I'll probably push you right into some uncomfortable territory about why you and/or your business are different. Why you are special. What you bring to the table that no one else can. Because at the end of the day, being able to market yourself is the key to making your business a success. Yet it's the one thing that seems to hold great business people back. You're well-versed in why the business is great, but less comfortable talking about why you're so darned fantastic.

(There's a massive aside here about why I think every college student should be required to have more than just a basic understanding of business and marketing before they graduate. I also think they should get a lesson or three on personal branding and appropriate corporate behavior, though I came to that a little later in my career. But I'll digress at another time.)

With my clients, I get them to dig in. Ask some pointed questions - of themselves and of those around them. The idea is to pull out the words, phrases, sentiments, feedback and criticisms that have helped to form the external perception of who they are, but also the internal perception as well. And you can guess which one is more important.

I willingly admit to being a fan of the TV show "Biggest Loser." I can't help it. There's something very inspiring and real about how these folks overcome everything from complex medical conditions to defeating self-talk to break through the barriers (perceived and otherwise) to good health. You can literally see it when the lightbulb comes on. When they stop talking or acting out of responsibility to something "other" and start engaging deeply with themselves, for themselves. Without exception. But it all comes from understanding who they are and what messages they're sending themselves about who they are...two wildy different things.

In consulting, I'm trying to uncover not only the features & benefits of your business or your product or service, I'm trying to identify the areas where you may end up holding yourself back, despite your commitment to success. There's a little psychology here, but I know that in the end, you have to be able to market yourself in any situation. If you don't believe the key messages that I help you create, you're not going to succeed in delivering the value promised within. So we start with the big chunks of personal branding.

For instance: if you're a consultant just starting out, why should someone hire you? (Hint: it's not because of the technical skills you bring to the table. Who cares? There are lots of great technicians out there. What else?) If you're a mom trying to get back into the job market, what makes you a compelling employee? What do people say about you, and what do you want people to say about you? And most importantly, do we have alignment?

One of the more interesting things I've seen lately is that not only is there NOT alignment, there is a little bit of loss. The personality that tumbled forth naturally when you were in high school & college - once hit with the realities of the work world/adulthood/parenthood - started absorbing different attributes. For one of my clients, the risk-taking goofball who'd likely be found splashing in the corporate lobby fountain now comes off as reserved, deliberate and straight-laced after many successful years in the insurance industry. Some might say that this is a good thing - experience, maturity and growth are all positive. But have you left something of yourself behind in the process? My client was surprised - that shift had all happened over years, but went virtually unnoticed. How could that be?!

I think most of us feel that we have, in fact, lost something along the way. And there are a million reasons why that might happen. We followed a certain path until we didn't. We took care of others' needs ahead of our own. Whatever the reason, taking the step back and thinking about self-marketing comes like a shock to the system. What?! Focus on myself? Toot my own horn? Act as if I'm better than someone else? Hmm...well, if I did that, what would I want to say?

It's easy to see why this is uncomfortable ground. And why it's so important. Keep in mind that you don't have to do this alone. There are a plethora of great books out there about personal branding, marketing, life strategies and empowering yourself. And there are lots of enviable examples. My advice to you is to not walk this path alone. You're too close to this to be objective, critical, or more importantly, encouraging. Find a mentor, hire a coach, take a class - use an expert so you don't wallow in the weeds. I promise you, once you start understanding your skills & talents from an objective point of view, you'll get as excited as I do. You'll see your potential and start dreaming bigger about where you could go next. Who knows, you may even jump into a fountain.