reconnecting

I’m not sure how it happened, but I lost touch with my food.

I didn’t put two and two together until I was giving myself a stern talking to about why my food cravings intensified and my will-power crashed proportionately. It would have been easy to slip into that mode where I beat myself up and make excuses, but the reality is, I just lost my way for a bit. And I was trying to put my finger on how, where and why that happened.

I love food. I love reading about it, eating it, cooking it, taking illicit iPhone photos of it, twittering about it, sharing it and writing about it.  I truly – in the most basic sense of the word - honor food.  Which is why it's so perplexing when I recognized some iffy eating behaviors that had taken over my life.  So what happened?  Well, generally speaking, life happened.  But along with the usual and expected effects of a too-busy, too-frenzied, too-blessedly-full life, I completely lost touch with food.

When I'm disconnected in the food department my fridge is empty and my visits to the co-op are further apart.  My kitchen stays clean, sure.  But it's a little sad and lifeless too.

When I'm connected I spend more time thinking about food.  I devour my Bon Apetit and Cooking Light magazines (ahem, amongst several others in the cooking vein).  I'm watching more of my favorite Food Network shows.  I'm picking up fresh veggies and experimenting with new grains.  The kitchen is humming.  People are dropping in after last-minute invites to nosh.  It's fantastic and it feeds my soul.

What happens, I think, is that the further I slide away from these engaged habits and connected practices, the less mindful I become about what moves from my fork to my mouth.  Even the effort of cooking (a practice which I really do enjoy) becomes less enticing.  Then I revert - as so many people do - to eating more packaged and what I call "quick fix" foods.  I'm pretty well-wired now to keep these foods organic and unprocessed as much as possible.  But when I'm on my 6th day of living on cereal and almond milk and nothing green has passed my lips, well then.  Houston, we have a problem.

So I've chosen to go back and dabble more.  Play mad scientist.  Try some new things that I normally wouldn't attempt.  I've turned May into "mostly vegan May" and am cooking out of my two new-ish cookbooks:  The Conscious Cook and The Kind Diet.  I made a somewhat scary (read: $140) trip to the co-op and have visited the St. Paul Farmer's Market.  I'm digging out the past few months of my cooking magazines and revisiting them, looking for inspiration.  And most importantly, I've invited a few people round for dinner, cocktails, brunch.  An excuse to cook and maybe even wow people a bit always inspires me to attempt new things.  And I can't wait to see how the month plays out. 

Also, stay tuned for vegan, vegetarian and unabashed meat recipes as I experiment through out the month.  And please, share your knowledge.  If you have some other great ideas for inspiration, recipes, mindful food habits, anything...please comment. 

Happy nibbling!

a little spring clean up

Fully 2 1/2 months of the year have passed us by already...how did THAT happen!?  More and more over the past 3 weeks, I've realized how completely disorganized my life has become.  While embarking on serious relationships with both my health and a new fella (old fella, well, it's a long story) - which are both going amazingly well and feeding my spirit - I have completely lost the rest of my way.  Sure, there's an issue of balance going on here but there's also the (wonderful) issue of being busier than ever with Segnavia Creative.  So, this is me not complaining...well, maybe just a bit.

If nothing else, the past few weeks have made me step back, look intently at how I'm spending my time and then hone in on how to be more productive and less frenetic.  Instead of taking things as they come (my natural and slightly procrastinating state of being), I need to find a way to get more proactive.  Gain some semblance of control.  You know, if that's possible.

And there's no denying that spring is the time to consider things such as organization, fresh starts, clean ups, clear outs and generally making life a bit tidier.  And since this is a blog that's about my work/life integration, you can bet my entire world is fair game.  Here's what I'm thinking about:

• Generally detoxing my home.  I wrote about this for Simple, Good, and Tasty (a website about local, sustainable, organic and fair trade food and the people who love it) back in January which you can read here:  kitchen, bath/laundry, rest of the house.  And I'm happy to say, I've taken a lot of these steps including reducing the number of non-homemade cleaners I use around here, adding plants to the house, using up old candles to make a complete switch to all-soy, getting organized (a bit more about that in a second), and re-enlisting many things around the house to serve new & improved purposes instead of just buying new.  There's constantly room for improvement, but I'm feeling good about just getting started.
• Putting better organizing systems in place, which inevitably has to start with some purging, recycling and an honest consideration of what my needs are.  I know there are a bunch of things that either aren't working or weren't well set up when I re-launched my business last year.  And you know, you just feel like, "Eh, I'm not that busy.  I'll figure out a "real" system once I have more to organize."  So many flaws in that logic, I can barely type it without blushing.  So I'm re-dedicating my dining room as my office (no really, this was an intentional decision last year as I realized that I honestly hated working in my office...and quite frankly, everyone gathers around the kitchen island to eat, anyway) and finding better systems for sorting out business operations,  typical home stuff and an awful lot of recipes.  My curse and my joy.
• Being more and more paper-free.  I sit on two boards and, let me tell you, we produce a lot of paper.  As the boards are becoming more dedicated to sending out digital versions of our minutes, agendas, and other materials, I'm just going to haul my laptop in and read through things on screen.  It's not brain surgery, but it does make life a bit less complicated when all of these theories align to keep the paper down.
• Treating my body to a regular cleanse and also a shift in my eating habits.  I started off the year with a month-long detox; I'll probably continue to do that detox once or twice a year because it's my old standby.  I know it works for me, and I know I can choose it without feeling deprived.  Next, I'm test-driving a 3-5 day juice cleanse from Organic Avenue in NYC.  Well, I wish I lived in NYC because you can just buzz over there and pick up your day's worth of juices, shakes and food to line up with whichever cleanse you've chosen.  But from spring thaw-y Minnesota, I'm going to follow the version publicized by Gwyneth Paltrow in her GOOP newsletter.  (Sure.  She's always going to have that air of "my life is infinitely better than yours" but I think that's mostly because her's probably IS better than mine.  And 99% of other humans as well!  But I can't hate her because she's talented, happily partnered and raising beautiful children, fit & healthy, drop-dead gorgeous and connected.  I (*gushes*) sort of love her even more for it.)  Anyway, she was kind enough to use her connections to get a download on the program, the recipes and after I read this NYT piece about another woman who gave it a go, I decided I'd try it too.   I'm only on Day 2 so I'll spare you any half-baked reviews at this point.  If you get real excited, you can follow Organic Avenue on Twitter here.
• Carving out time to write.  This is one of my true passions and is also an area that needs practice and refinement.  I get that - first and foremost - from just sitting down and writing.  This blog, my personal blog, whatever.  I also get it from writing for my clients (Simple, Good, and Tasty being my biggest blogging commitment at the moment).  But I'm also hungry for feedback, so I have a couple of classes in mind from The Loft in Minneapolis.

Most of all, I'm looking forward to spring.  It's - by far - my favorite season and the continuation of my January 1st fresh start is warmly welcomed.  I can't wait to see what the rest of the year brings.

Back at the beginning

I'm on another adventure...this time, dealing with my health and well-being. Not unlike many other women (and men, for that matter) I have hit a point in my life where I am starting to feel the cumulative effects of many years of eating well, sitting at a desk, traveling for business, not being active enough, and trying desperately to find some sort of equilibrium in my life.

Yep, that sounds just like life, right? And add to it, in the five years past I have earned a check mark for almost everyone of those “top stressors” in life: divorce, job loss/change, moving (three times), death of a parent and – not inconsequentially – working with a couple of the least well-balanced people imaginable. Stress: been there, done that, starred in the made-for-TV movie.

As a result, I’ve seen my weight go up rather dramatically. Ok, maybe it’s not dramatic to you, but an additional 20+ lbs – though I can wear it pretty well – puts me comfortably over the edge into “not so healthy land.” Further, as I’ve started to peel away the layers of what’s really doing damage here, I have also seen some of the baseline wellness checks coming back less than perfect. And did I mention that my pants don’t fit?!?

A little more than two years ago, suffering mightily with some new fangled allergies that I hadn’t experienced before, I decided enough was enough. (And by that I mean enough Minute Clinic visits for sinus infections and definitely ENOUGH ANTIBIOTICS – I’m allergic to most of the big ones and really want to keep my usage to dire conditions.) I decided to call on a naturopath.

My initial consultation was pretty unique. I am very much an alternative medicine/holistic approach sort of girl, so the idea of this kind of assessment, diagnosis and treatment appealed to me. After hearing all of my complaints (weight gain, stuffy allergy head, poor digestion, etc) and doing some rather unconventional assessments, the first thing she did was place me on a very serious detox plan. Suspecting food allergies, we set about eliminating anything and everything that was potentially allergenic and went from there. Result: definitely wheat, maybe dairy. My naturopath also suggested to me that a periodic detox (1-2 times per year) could help keep my system functioning better.

Results were great. I was already engaged in Weight Watchers and throughout the summer lost just over 20 lbs. I felt much better. And then life took hold yet again – a serious relationship ended, a crazy job began and then during the winter, my dad passed away quickly from an aggressive form of cancer. Before you knew it, the tenuous hold I had on my own health and wellness started slipping. Five pounds became 10. I struggled through some pretty serious blues. Nothing much felt good. Ten became 20 again. All in all, 2008 was really not good for me at all. I made a painful job change the end of the year and vowed to start 2009 in a better place.

And I did. But I still hadn’t put my hands around what EXACTLY needed to happen to bring me back around to healthy and well again. The weight was killing me. After I got myself back to my fighting weight the year before, I got rid of everything that was more than a size up. I just KNEW I would never go back there again. Yet, there is precisely where I found myself.

There has been one positive and changing force that has been woven throughout all of this, and that is my passion for food and being a bit greener. Together, those pieces of me have set me on a path toward awareness and excitement for the efforts around local and organic food, and about limiting the toxins in my life. As you may know, this is not about perfection. This is about a journey and I’m happy to say that I’m well into mine. Which has helped spring me forward…

…to a new space and time. I went back to the books and studied hard. I read Jillian Michaels’ new Master Your Metabolism. I re-read Dr. Weil’s 8 Weeks to Optimum Health and Natural Health, Natural Medicine. I revisited Michael Pollan’s In Defense of Food. Then I went to my doctor and had a few tests run to see just where I was at. Today? Total cholesterol is a little high, but good cholesterol is great (maybe to do with all that sushi?!); triglycerides are slightly elevated; alarmingly, blood sugar is also a little higher than it should be. And I’m still kicking around a virus that has been hanging with me since late last year. So I sat back, checked all my references and put myself back on track. Combining the learnings from these books about dealing with hormone levels (insulin and cortisol, anyone?), anti-oxidants and anti-inflammatory diets with my already developed knowledge for the benefits of certain kinds of foods, along with my naturopath's suggestions, I’m off like a shot.

Here’s what’s happening:

• First, another detox. I’m spending about 3 weeks this time (as long as my supplemental powder holds out) cleaning out the stuff that’s bad. YET, I’m not being insane about it either. I am not chasing a food allergy this time, I’m just trying to give my liver and a couple of other vital organs a break. Key for me is the food choices, and limiting my wine. And those are: no caffeine, no sugar, no wheat, no dairy, no meat other than fish. I’m keeping eggs this time and paying attention to the glycemic load of my fruits, veggies and rice.
• Daily exercise. We bought bikes a few weeks ago and have been enjoying trying to get out and about in our town. I’m also walking a day or two a week with friends, and as much as I can in the course of my day (it’s fab living downtown and being able to walk everywhere). And last weekend we even spent 2 hours paddling down the St. Croix in a canoe. I realized that – for me – it’s all about keeping it fresh and fun. I neeeeeed to be outside in this glorious late summer weather we’re having (it’s crazy) and I need to stay engaged and not get frustrated. We’ve signed up to do a little golf tournament next month. I’m just trying for 30-60 minutes of something or another each day.
  
• Supplements. This is where many people think I have gone ‘round the twist. But amping up my vitamins and supplements are important to my detox and also to the idea that I’m trying to kick my metabolism and immune system in the ass. I haven’t run on a healthy immune system since high school and therefore pick up and carry around every bug known to mankind. I need my immune system to rebound, shake off this virus and support me going forward. So yes, I choke down nearly 30 pills a day – everything from the standard multivitamin, fish oil, additional D, C, calcium to Astralagus and Lysine and a few other oddities. I’m also trying to take bitters again before meals…this one is less convenient but it sure is good for your digestion!
• Portioning. This is actually easy now. It’s just a decision. Eat half, add a salad.
• Cooking. I haven’t been spending quality time in my own kitchen for some time. Dating a chef means – unsurprisingly – that he doesn’t necessarily want to cook at home. He wants to go out! See what’s new! Try something different! All of which is very, very good but the by-product is that it has disconnected me from my kitchen. I’m back now.
• Shopping as local as possible. Most of you know that I’ve been helping Lee over at www.SimpleGoodandTasty.com and using that as a big fat excuse to avail myself of many more local delights than I was before. I’ve always been a HUGE farmer’s market fan and visit mine weekly. But I’ve also joined a co-op this year and taken a crack at a CSA for half the season. So I’m experimenting and feeling more inspired in my food choices.

I’m just one week in so far. I’ve lost 3 lbs. And I know my system is running – ahem – cleaner already. I’m almost through my caffeine/sugar withdrawal headaches, but feeling a little under the weather again. I know the allergens aren’t helping matters (must deal with those next), but I’m feeling like the tides are shifting.I’m in the groove now and I’m getting lots of support from those around me (much appreciated). Now we’ll just keep on in a forwardly direction to being a healthier, happier me.

Here's to wellness!

launching some stuff

I have been working on a model for a self-coaching circle as a way to experiment a little bit with my personal branding and coaching ideas. I figure, get a few friendly guinea pigs in a room together, start talking about how we all got "here" and see if that might be a reasonable method for getting us all in the mindset for self-improvement. A little inspiration, a few good ideas, some shared stories. All good right?

Except what I'm hearing from so many of my friends of all ages is the struggle with weight loss. It's not like the world needs another diet or online chat room or weight watchers meeting. Those all are fine and good, and many of them are truly helpful. What's missing is a venue for real connection and a big fat dose of the loving kindness we are all forgetting to give ourselves to get through this process.

So many of us launch into weight loss in a fit of self-hatred. Sick of the way you feel, sick of the way you look. Sick of feeling guilty for sitting on the couch and watching "Biggest Loser" with a glass of wine and 1/2lb of cheese (oh wait...is that just me?). Sick of everything, really. And unless you're a mindshifting magician, that's not a very positive place to start what is undoubtedly a tough journey forward.

You bang yourself about the head and make up irrelevant goals. "I'm going to lose 20 pounds by the reunion", "I'm going to fit into this dress by the wedding," and so forth. But these kinds of goals really don't speak to us. They are false ideals and fake milestones that just feed off the fear. They don't dig deep and address what really motivates us to take on such a challenge. And one size does NOT fit all here either - what truly inspires one person to take positive action, may not even register with another.

And in truth, one of the big reasons we haven't addressed our weight issues is because we haven't quite been willing to face it. We avoid the scale, switch up to the next elasticized waistband, and stop looking quite so closely in the mirror. We're in pain here, people. We are NOT ready to push all of that aside and just turn into that rose-colored-glasses-wearing woman we've heard so much about. And what a shame too. Because this is not the moment in our lives when we want to be encumbered by our more creative avoidance tactics. Like trying to figure out what is going to motivate us "this time." It's really supposed to be the ignition switch for us to shine.

This is the time when you need to feel as if you've been launched into the sky by the most brilliant power. You have wings! You have strength and stamina for the flight! You have places to land and nourish yourself, replenish yourself! You have outright approval for a martini! But how on earth do we keep ourselves aloft when the flight is so long and hard?

So that's why I thought it might be interesting to see if we could use the weight loss/health & wellness adventure as a topic for our first self-coaching circle. Self-coaching because what you learn here is meant to be used as tools for helping you along your journey. Circle because we recognize the need for the camaraderie, kindness and enthusiasm that we find so hard to provide to ourselves. I'll keep you posted.

(And while we're in the business of launching things, I'd like to introduce you all to my new logo. See? Up there on the right? Cute, huh? Many thanks to Kara Nielsen Design for creating yet another beautiful logo. Website is next...wild rides R US!)

sunny d

I got a newsletter in my inbox today from Oprah and Dr. Oz wondering if I'm getting enough Vitamin D. So kind of them to inquire.

Dr. Oz (one of my all-time health idols along with Dr. Weil) and his YOU book compadre have developed some content on Oprah.com and one segment explains how somewhere between 40-85% of Americans are Vitamin D deficient. And it doesn't take much to make you deficient! If you, like me, are religious about sunscreen for instance, you are leaving much of the sun-generated D on the table. Such a conundrum! Check out this article for more information on how much we need and how to get more.

With that in mind, I'm headed out to soak up a little lower-risk, early day, northern latitude sunny sunshine. I've already added Vitamin D to my supplements, and I eat lots of delicious fatty fish. And, although a major inconvenience, I'll be taking apéro on my deck as much as possible.