cooking away

While spring is my favorite season (blooming flowers, first signs of local produce, and the hope of warm sunny days after months of snow), fall is my favorite cooking season.  Flush with veggies and starting to crave jeans & sweatshirts, I can't think of anything I want to do more than cook.

Beyond that, cooking is also my way of decompressing and dealing with my over-active brain.  The mindless chopping and peeling and fussing are the perfect balm for my anxiety.  Plus, I'm not so bad at it so the results tend to be as enjoyable as the process.

This weekend, full of summer and the fair and weddings and otherwise over-committed days, I found myself longing for my kitchen.  So I've spent the better part of the past 24 hours in full-on cooking, baking and exercising my kitchen modes.  Thankfully my better half is an avid and enthusiastic cleaner upper and is the organized, recovery to my cook-and-destroy.  So he's been a great partner in my maniacal cooking fest.  Plus, he loves food and loves to cook himself so he's a truly willing participant.

Other benefits of my weekend onslaught included inspiration for our Christmas gift planning (we're doing all-homemade gifts this year - together) and making productive use of the abundant farmer's market. But mostly it tweaked the creative side of my brain which, quite frankly, feels as if it's been dormant for a few weeks.  Rushing through life headlong gives me that "just subsisting" vibe.  And that makes me even more anxious.  Riff on this recipe.  Tweak that spice mix.  Dream up a delicious cocktail.  And enjoy it all with the one I love.  Cooking is just good therapy all around.

I'll be posting recipes as I get a few moments here (I actually wrote them down for a change!) and taking a break here and there to, well, eat.  Therapy you can devour.  Delicious.

take care of you

When you're on an airplane, they always tell you: if the oxygen mask drops, put yours on first before helping others. We understand the issue here - if we can't breathe, we can't help. The "duh" factor is high.

Which makes the considerations I took out of out of my week of "Unapologetic Self-Care" and the self-care retreat that I attended on Thursday rather pronounced for me. First, a bit of a recap:

The workshop I participated in was filled with women of all ages (roughly 25-80) and in various states of wellness. Two, including one instructor, were cancer survivors; one has Stage 4 breast cancer and is going through chemo. One young lady has Crohn's disease, she was joined by her 2 sisters. One older woman is living with her husband's dementia; another lost her husband 3 years ago. Two women were in major personal/career transitions - one had just parlayed her love for her teaching career and Theology into a new PhD and a new career; the other recently retired and is interested in figuring out what she wants to do next (how great is that?). I was humbled by their braveness. And their insight - these ladies all knew that self-care should be on their radar, even if just by signing up for the retreat. We all had stressors to leave at the door.

The retreat itself was lovely. This wasn't a fancy spa or a time of indulgent, expensive pampering. We were in the basement of a former convent surrounded by healing practitioners, a library full of books and instructors who wanted to instill upon us the importance of taking care of ourselves. They created a simple, comfortable environment, walked us through an introduction to many concepts and techniques, and sent us away with some affirmations to try as well as a little marigold to grow. Lovely.

We explored a bit about how our mental attitudes and preconceptions impact our decisions around caring for ourselves. We talked about warning signals that stress sends (physical, emotional, behavioral, cognitive) and a basic roadmap to coping and problem solving. We had a 30 minute yoga class and started talking a bit about energy healing. We ran out of time which meant that a few things got dropped off the schedule, and unfortunately I think we missed out on a couple of potentially great lessons...but perhaps next time. And we got to connect and share with the other women in our group - uncomfortable at first, but once you start talking it's always such a great experience to hear that others have similar experiences or reactions or challenges. Overall, we were given a lot to think about and much inspiration to go on and learn more together or on our own. Definitely worth the price of admission.

And I got what I wanted out of my time there - inspiration and some renewed energy toward this "take care of myself" concept that I'd been intuitively sorting through. What I learned here:

• Take care of your health while you have it: Since many of these women were having their well-being challenged through illness, death and even growth, it was obvious how important it is to build up not only our health but our healthful practices when times are good. Just as pregnancy may not be a great time to start hitting the gym, developing these habits today will help support us down the road. There are many sub-lessons that go along with facing women in these situations: be grateful, stop making excuses, stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop ignoring spirituality, basically - lean into life, even the tough stuff.
• Don't underestimate the power of community: The woman facing Stage 4 cancer doesn't have a personal support group. Girlfriends. How could this be? The one that survived cancer (twice) and lost her husband found that her circle couldn't support her through those challenges. One of her key stressors, in addition to worrying about money, is aloneness. Again how can it be that in a society such as ours these bright, brave women wouldn't have a thoughtful friend or two they could lean on? So many studies, books, even our own personal experiences tell us how important it is to have a circle of friends. Not every friend "gives" us the same thing as every other. Some are "soul friends" - a term I learned this week - those that we connect with at a deeper level, those that we will likely keep with us til our end. Some are people who find their way into our lives for a reason - something to teach, something to learn, an experience to cherish - even if they may fade out of our life again. So, build your circle and build it well. These people will quite literally make your life.

I left this event inspired to create a retreat like this for those in my personal and professional circle. This group has nailed down how to support women who are living with health crises. I want to reach out to other kinds of women - those in other times of growth and learning. Other transitions that touch our lives. Can't you look back and see how interesting something like this might have been when we were 25? Or following divorce or a job layoff? The language changes, the lessons get more specific but the underlying message is there: know who you are, know who supports you best, take care of you. We aren't as strong and big as we could be in our lives unless we ensure our health and well-being needs are met first. Now, if we could just make that as plain as the symbols on the emergency card in your seatback pocket...

self-care, the workshop

In honor of my "Unapologetic Self-Care Week," I signed myself up to attend a fabulous looking retreat. Well Within, a local nonprofit holistic wellness center, has put together a full day of learning self-care techniques in order to restore balance. Very cool indeed!

I have been doing yoga fairly regularly for the past 5 years, but unsurprisingly, it's one of the first thing that goes when LIFE interferes. Which makes absolutely no sense because it can also be the one thing to keep me glued together. I figured I could use more tools like this.

The Well Within brochure describes the retreat as an introduction to a variety of techniques which could be used for self-care in our everyday lives. I am already bought in on yoga but I'm also interested in getting a little head's up about meditation, healing touch, guided imagery and mindfulness. All of these resonate with my approach to wellness; and there's no doubt elevating self-care activities (as in, we need ACTION here) will give me more tools in my toolbox for when times aren't so predictable and stable.

Cami Smalley, program director and wellness coach (and personal trainer!) told me to expect some light stretching so to dress comfortably and in layers. They'll provide food and I am bringing my favorite journal and pen. This I can do. And in the meantime, I'm working through my own week of self-care with learning, moving, thinking, sharing. I can't imagine a better way to find my center ground again.

Well Within describes balance as:

• Balance
• Awareness
• Laughter
• Awake
• Nurture
• Create
• Explore

EXACTLY what I need; can't wait to report back on Friday.

If you're interested in the retreat - either this week at Well Within or to bring the event to your own community - get in touch with the delightful Cami by calling 651.308.2763. Check it out online at: www.wellwithin.org

the role of self-care in your personal brand

You know how this vicious cycle goes: get stressed, fall behind, stop taking care of yourself, sleep horribly, feel icky, fall off wellness wagon, lose patience with loved ones, miss a deadline, throw a muscle in your back...etc etc...next thing you know, you're immobilized on the couch in your least-restrictive fitting yoga pants, with mac & cheese and TIVOed reruns of Law & Order SVU, and wondering when the laundry will start doing itself.

Life happens. And there's nothing we can do about it other than decide that we're going to deal with it, hopefully with positivity and with good humor. A very smart friend of mine, in retelling a story of her own last week, explained the central thinking behind her enthusiastic and upbeat - but calm and thoughtful - approach to her life: "I can't control what's going on out there. I can only decide in here (pointing at her head) how I'm going to handle it." This is a woman who, not unlike me, has experienced just about every major life stressor that can be conceived of in the past 18 months: job change, death in the family, financial upheaval, work stress, and so forth. So to me, her mantra rang true. And I know she can't possibly feel that confidence every minute of every day, but it inspired me to think more about how I can bring my own tenacity, creativity and centeredness back to the forefront.

For me, and I think my above-mentioned friend, this boils down to self-care. Yes, another phrase bandied about by every self-help, Oprah-spewing life changer out there...but bear with me. My friend prioritizes her attitude and mental decisioning as part of her own self-care. And this process serves to help her stay authentic, to live her personal brand.

Being authentic to your brand means taking care of it. Growing it, nurturing it, caring for it when it's under the weather. Redirecting it when it gets off on a tangent. In a way, thinking about attending to my brand resonates with me. It's easier for me - and I suspect many women- to drum up energy and enthusiasm to grow or care for something as opposed to "taking care of me" in some esoteric, philosophical sense. This, I can get my hands around!

It's easy to see what happens when you get out of sync but like any smart strategic plan, it's critical to identify the risk factors and figure out how to use them to course correct. Notice, I said "course correct" and not "COMPLETELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE." Because I don't know about you, but the idea of "COMPLETELY CHANGING MY LIFE" seems a tad overwhelming. Gulp.

So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to declare this "Unapologetic Self-Care Week" here in Trixieland. I'm going to sit down and take stock of the patterns in my life that have caused me to wander off the road and I'm going to name them. I'm going to think about how each of these recurring scoundrels affects me and what I might do to address them immediately and with proactive attention. If I have a setback with my business, how do I usually "fall apart?" What can I do to self-care my way through that setback so that "falling apart" looks like a blip on the radar and not a Richter-sized event?

I've also carved out a day to tuck myself into a retreat and let the self-care techniques and strategies wash over me. This should be fun. We'll be learning about such things as guided imagery, meditation, setting intentions, journaling, guided touch and yoga. By Thursday of my "Unapologetic Self-Care Week," I should be primed to put on my beginner's mind and see what techniques I can try in my strategic plan to care for my personal brand: me.